November 25 - The Day I Met My Wife

Every year, right around Thanksgiving, I celebrate the day I met my wife. It was on November 25, 1987 that we were introduced, semi-accidentally, at a restaurant dinner put on by the cousin of a woman I had met at work. Thus began what is today a 24-year relationship that keeps going--and makes my life worth living.

Every year we talk about "meeting day" as one of our anniversaries, like our wedding date, halfway around the calendar, two years later. It's not often that one particular day stands out in your life, but this is one of them. The birth of our son in 1992 is another.

In a world where there are negative anniversaries (9/11/2001 or 12/8/1980, for example) it's great to celebrate the positive too. Actually, that's what holidays and birthdays are for, right? Every year at Thanksgiving, besides being grateful for the abundance that my life has given me, I give special thanks for finding my sweetheart too.

Today, we spent time together at the San Francisco Auto Show, which is an annual ritual for us. We wandered through the sprawling underground rooms of the Moscone Center looking at this year's crop of cars and wondering what we'd want to own. So few really make the cut--too expensive, unappealing styling, gas hogs or just plain boring. Maybe a few gems. See tomorrow's post for more about this car show and my shifting sentiments on cars in general.

Next year, we'll celebrate the quarter century anniversary of meeting day. Maybe we'll do something special--go somewhere--but just hanging out together on November 25 is fine with me.

My Copper Seeking Adventure

You may not know it, but the official "modern" material for the 22nd wedding anniversary is copper. So, I decided to go out in search of something appropriate for my wife--while she's out of town. It turned out to be more difficult than I expected--but also amusing.

I started at the big mall not too far from home, at Nordstrom. Earrings perhaps? None, but I chatted with two saleswomen for awhile. Then, off to Williams Sonoma. Would they have a little copper tool or cooking item? They did--but I decided against the $255 pasta-cooking pot. My wife doesn't really need or want it (I think). It was a bit over what I was seeking.

On through the mall, to Macy's. Nothing there in the jewelry department either, and there were no little jewelry merchants in the center courtyards offering anything cute. The Hawaiian jewelers had red gold items (they told me the red came from containing some copper). Nah--not quite. Hot Topic had lots of metal jewelry, but it was all piercing supplies--not copper there.

I decided to try Cost Plus World Market--they should have SOMETHING from some exotic place, right? Well, I enjoyed my time with the three young sales clerks who took me to the wind chimes section, where I found one items that looked like copper but was really copper-colored tin. I even scanned the wine department there for a winemaker with "copper" in their name. Zilch.

Undaunted, I headed over to Pier One Imports. The friendly clerk showed me metal items here and there, but we found nothing of copper there either. I began joking with people as this search got more difficult about buying some copper wire at the hardware store or perhaps some plumbing supplies.

I went to Barnes and Noble, and with the help of a willing clerk found a book called, "Easy and Elegant Beaded Copper Jewelry." Well, I guess I could buy it and make her something. Where would I get the copper wire for this project? The person at Pier One had referred me to Bed, Bath and Beyond, where I hit paydirt--sort of. Lela, the friendly sales associate (seeing a pattern here?) went online and found lots of vases, pots, etc. available to order. We did find three copper tea kettles available in another BB&B store 20 miles away and I considered going there. But I wasn't sure I really wanted to buy a tea kettle when we already have an electric one that works fine.

I considered visiting some street craftsmen on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley.

I tried going online. http://www.ilovecopper.com/ has a huge selection of great earrings. But where could I find these in person? Now? I found a bunch on etsy.com, too, so I decided I'd offer that to my wife when she returns. That--and the 1972 penny I got in my change at Starbucks. That's the only copper I brought home, but I did think about my wife all day--a good thing.

I Love My Wife - 22 Years Today

Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary. And, for the first time in that time, my wife and I are in different places on this special day.

Nothing like absence to make you realize how much you miss your loved one's presence--and take it for granted. Because we support each other's independence as well as really like each other a lot, we will survive this time apart fine. We do our own thing much of the time at home. But it doesn't make the house feel any less empty without her in it.

Meeting my wife-to-be brought an end to two years of dating after divorcing my first wife. I was just about fed up with the whole process--until I met her. See my blog post of February 8th for the details, but I can tell you, it was one of, if not THE, most important day of my life. When I saw her and felt her warm, powerful energy, I knew I'd found the right one.

That's how you stay married for decades. It's not like a romance novel--it's better. And you don't melt into one mutual blob--you become more who you really are with the support of the other person. I may not have known that then but I do now.

Can't wait 'til Sunday night, when she's back with me.

Job Hunting's Like Choosing a Mate

Looking for a new job is a lot more like choosing a mate than you might suppose. You want to like the person (company) and what they stand for. You decide based on your observations and feelings for the moment, but what you really want is something that works for the long term. But how can you tell?

You go on dates (interviews) to try to figure out how compatible you are. You ask questions--and answer them. You try to be honest, but of course you tend to talk up your accomplishments and avoid those moments you'd just as soon forget. However, tell outright lies at your own peril--I don't even try--because I can't and also because I believe that if you do, they'll come back to haunt you later.

So, you date (meet), you talk, and when you think you've found the right one (and they agree--a rarer thing), you make a legal agreement (paperwork) and you're together. If you're lucky--and work at it, it lasts.

A good marriage can (and should) outlast a lifetime of good and bad jobs, or even multiple careers. So far, I'm doing pretty well. Ask my wife.